Are you trying to learn how to get over him? Whether he dumped you or you broke up with him, it’s hard to let go of someone you were close to. There are spaces in your life and in your heart that need to be filled. Yet, people can get over a relationship – these 5 steps can help.

Decide that the relationship is really over.

If you keep hoping maybe he’ll change and come back to you, you will never learn how to get over him. Let it go, and move on.

Let the hurt out.

It’s OK to cry when you are learning how to get over him. Writing about what you’re going through can help. Try keeping a journal – it will help you get through today, and in time you can reread your entries and see how far you’ve come. You might even learn some things about yourself that can help your next relationship.

It can also help to write a long letter to your ex talking about about the relationship. You don’t want to send it, so you can be totally honest. Talk about the good memories and the bad times. Write about how you felt at the beginning and how it hurt at the end. Let it all out. Reread it, maybe cry a little, then burn it. That’s right, let the flames consume the letter and provide closure to the relationship.

Do things to symbolize the end of the relationship.

Give back any personal items you may have of his – including that oversized shirt that’s so comfortable to sleep in. If he has anything of yours, ask for it back. Throw away his toothbrush – he probably won’t want it back anyway. Clear your place of his things as a way of clearing him from your life.

Depend on your friends to help you through it.

Guys may come and guys may go, but your girlfriends are forever. Even if you think you’ve neglected them while you were involved with your boyfriend, get back in touch. Not only will your girls help you get over the guy, but also reconnecting will be good for your social life.

And your girlfriends have probably been through break ups themselves. Sharing their pain will help you understand that, as bad as you are hurting, others have survived and you will too.

Find productive ways to fill your time.

You spent a lot of time with your ex, and now you can use the extra time to get over him. Go to the gym and get rid of some of the stress. Take up a new hobby, or go back to one you’ve let go.

One of the best things to do is join a group or a class. Not only does a class take up the time you would have spent with your ex, but it also introduces you to a new circle of friends – and you might even learn something new.

Want to learn how to get over him? The best thing you can do is live your life well. Between your old friends, the new friends you can make, and the new interests you find, you can come through this as a new person, stronger and happier than you’ve ever been. Moving on is the best way to get over an ex.