Saving My Marriage - Is It Worth It?
Anyone who said marriage is easy had to be single! There is nothing easy about merging your life with another person.
Several decades ago, divorce was simply not an option – women could not support themselves and society did not accept divorced women. Now, however, half of marriages end in divorce.
If you're wondering how to save your marriage, you might start by considering whether your partner and the life you have is worth the work it will take. As difficult as it is to make a marriage work, saving a marriage that's already damaged is much harder.
Saving a marriage - Look at your life together
Look not only at the current circumstances, but also at the history the two of you share together. How did you meet? What was it that made you fall in love? Were you ever really in love?
Consider the good times first, instead of only dwelling on the bad. When your marriage is in a bad patch, it is easy to forget that good times ever existed. However, you should be fair to yourself and your partner - otherwise the work of saving a marriage will never be worth it.
Then look at the bad times. Did either of you cheat? Are there other major issues that one of you has a hard time dealing with? Sometimes these major issues get buried over time, but the resentment remains and eats away at the relationship. Do you find yourself being mad at your spouse over little things or for no reason at all? If this is the case, you should really look at any underlying issues.
Saving a marriage - Look at your spouse
Close your eyes and picture what your perfect spouse would be. Not Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie, but the real characteristics you would like to have in your spouse. Then step back and see how your spouse measures up.
You should be very careful to be realistic in this exercise. If you have unrealistic expectations, you will never be happy with anyone. However, you may be selling yourself short by staying.
Saving a marriage - Decide if it's worth saving
Although saving a marriage is difficult, you should not rush off and get a divorce. You should, however, try to be fair to you and your spouse and choose to both try wholeheartedly or to let go completely.
Ask yourself "Is it worth it to try saving my marriage?" If so, go for it.
