Love Relationship Advice
Facing Your List of "Don't Wants"
Most people haven't thought through what they want in a date, but are pretty sure about what they don't want. The best love relationship advice is to understand both.
Good love relationship advice - What not to add to your "don't wants"
The “don’t want” lists can be dangerous. You may say you don’t want to date a guy with a beard or a woman with green eyes. Why is this a problem?
- You're seriously limiting your choices based on unimportant aspects of the whole person.
- You're tempting fate. As soon as you make this kind of hard and fast rule you'll meet a wonderful man with a beard, or a charming woman with emerald eyes. It will make you crazy to try and stick with your limiting assumptions.
Just like any boundaries you set in your life, the dating boundaries you set for yourself need to be consistent. If you're indecisive about your choices of date material you can repeat past mistakes. Relationship advice experts agree that you need to know yourself first, and why you keep repeating the patterns.
For example, if you've been in an abusive, alcoholic, or immature relationship you're much more vulnerable to repeating the bad experience if you haven't looked at why you chose that person.
It's critical to be emotionally healthy before you date again. Get therapy if you need it, or find someone who can give love relationship advice. It's only when you're healthy that you can see how abuse, addictions, and immaturity led you to heartache -- and will take you there again.
Important love relationship advice - since it is so important that you stick to your own boundaries it’s a good idea to allow your “don’t want” list to contain more in-depth insights than eye color or facial hair.
Good love relationship advice - What to add to your "don't wants"
- You don't want to date someone because you're desperate. The worst reason to get together with someone is because you're afraid no one else will ask.
- You don't want to date someone because it will make you feel successful. You need to feel like a successful person in your own life first. Once you're happy with who you are and where you're going you'll have a better idea of what qualities you want and don't want in a dating partner.
- You don't want to try to find someone to be the "be-all" and "end-all" in your life. Remember you want to find someone who will enhance your life -- not someone to complete your life.
It's a paradox, but the best love relationship advice says it's true. Healthy relationships can only develop when you would be happy to remain single. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin, once you can be on your own without feeling desperate for a date, then you are the perfect date.
